For years I struggled with men. I married way too young and stayed way too long. Then, I ended up in a five-year defacto rebound relationship with the wrong man that resulted in me pregnant and alone. Then there was the addict, the philanderer, the narcissist, the commitment phobe, the ‘I forgot to tell you I’m married’ guy, the control freak, the long distance guy and finally there was Mr Right.
So, how did I find him? I mean, isn’t that what all us single girls are looking for? The One, love at first sight? Our knight in shining armour? It turns out I’m one of the lucky ones because I got my happy ending with my very own version of Mr Perfect. It helps that has a remarkable resemblance to John Hamm, but what is most attractive about him is that he is really just perfect for me. We quite often joke that we are the female / male version of each other. Born a day apart, perhaps we are Cosmic Twins brought together by the Universe after both travelling a hectic and often-unhappy relationship paths.
The truth is, and I’m going to give it to you straight, I magicked him into my life! Huh! I hear you all say, ‘as if’, yeah right, but it’s true. So how did I do it? I guess it was fairly simple when I look back, it was purely all down to the law of attraction.
When I found myself single and pregnant I probably thought I was at my lowest point, who would ever love me, yet alone love me with a child, which people in their mid 30s thought of as an accessory or appendage but mainly if they didn’t have one, just a massive burden. I actually had girlfriends advise I get an abortion because it would be soooo hard to find a man with a baby. Turns out that was not the case at all, because I didn’t have a short supply of suitors, but I did have a short supply of suitable suitors.
After she was born, like most new mums I went looking for books to read to my daughter, there was nothing that was suitable. Nothing that was just about a mother and her daughter, a single mother situation and so I decided given I am both writer, publicist and marketer that I would just write my own and self publish that baby. I had interest from publishing companies but at the end of the day I went it alone, just like giving birth. My Super Single Mum was born and with that I wrote around another 8 stories all surrounding diversity in families; single dads, two mums, two dads, grandparent books, rainbow families and a family about a stepfather that was called ‘My Super Soul Dad’.
Now you might be thinking this sounds like it’s turning into a massive plug for my books but you’ll stop in your tracks when I tell you what happened 8 years after writing that book called My Super Soul Dad. After my failed romantic liaisons I basically decided to be single, but a lady cannot live on air alone and so I thought a few Tinder dates wouldn’t go astray. I downloaded, logged on, created my profile and then there he was love at first swipe, well he was the third swipe actually but let’s not let that get in the way of a good story. I swiped, it was a match and then we got chatting. Turns out his name was Soledad. Do you think I was confused? Yep, I was completely confused so much so I asked him his name many times, Soledad he would say thinking (so he tells me now) it was lucky I was pretty because I seemed a touch thick! Soledad he would say, and I would think, OMG – I get you are a single dad, just tell me your name! Finally I caught on, his name is Spanish, it’s a real name, a girls name actually but hey, it’s a pretty cool name isn’t it so who cares what gender it belongs to. I struggled with how to say his name in the early days of our dating adventures and would just call him Sol or baby or honey. Finally, after a voicemail where I heard him say his name I got it. He wasn’t Soul Dad, he was Sol-eh-dad. After that I said his name with gusto – lots. Finally, I told him, ‘did you know’ I typed ‘I wrote a book 8 years ago called My Super Soul Dad, that’s half the reason I was so confused about your name’. We laughed. That was Law of Attraction number 1.
As for the second part of this story, well I guess a few of you are going to think I am insane, but I’m just a hippy at heart actually. I had helped a friend with their RSVP profile in 2013, telling them they needed to change photos, bio etc, basically I PRd the f out of that profile and within a week he met the ‘one’. A year later I was at their wedding in a wheelchair recovering from Achilles Tendon Reconstructive Surgery (damn that Crossfit!), his beautiful wife came to me and thanked me for changing his profile which in turn brought them together but then she told me that wasn’t the only thing, that a little bit of magic had also come into play. This was when she revealed the ‘man spell’ to me.
This is the part where we detour just for a moment, when you snap your Achilles Tendon you essentially become disabled for the period of time you go into recovery, so whilst I was in recovery mode I needed to amuse myself, I couldn’t really work for a little while and so I became obsessed with Mad Men, do you remember what I said about John Hamm earlier? Okay, let’s just say Don Draper to me would have been my dream man come true minus all his character and personality flaws. Give me a man who looked like Don Draper and the personality of Jerry Seinfeld and we’re getting close to my perfect man.
But back to the man spell. So, she tells me, ‘I did a man spell’, get a piece of paper, on the front print off a picture of a man you think is attractive to you (that would be Don Draper for me), then on the back you write your grocery list of what you want in a man, down to minute detail. I laughed, was she serious? But after seeing their love story and being bound by a cast and incapacity to actually walk I thought what the heck and gave it a go. I printed out my picture of Don Draper and then I wrote my list, it was long, it took an A4 page, hey – she said to go into detail, so I did, and I’m talking I went into DETAIL you know what I’m saying ladies right?
I remembered her last piece of advice, once you have your two pages, put them together and stick them under your bed to sleep on. Was she kidding I thought, I hope nobody finds this as I maneuvered my way to the bedroom and slipped the spell under my mattress. Fast forward a year later and I’m on Tinder and who do I see but a guy that looks like Don Draper, I’m thinking ‘who puts a picture of John Hamm on their Tinder profile” then I look closer and I think “when was John Hamm at Brighton Beach” and then I look closer again and I think “oooooh that’s him” swipe right, yes, yes, yes and it was case closed. To be honest, it wasn’t just what he looked like, yes, he’s gorgeous, in person too it turned out, but actually I loved how he described himself ‘we could be friends’ I thought.
Turns out we are, we are best friends in love and life. I joke we are partners in wine, crime and time. That was the law of attraction in action part 2. I magicked him into my life, what can I say, I asked and I received. I told the Universe what I wanted and the Universe answered.
The moral of the story? Don’t give up, I do believe there is someone for everyone. My partner brought me three beautiful children to love along with his and I brought him one. We are a squad of six and couldn’t be happier. We are and blended family – My Super Fantastic Blamily (yes there will be a book!). Maybe a little bit of magic could work for you too.
Bronny Lane is a writer, children’s book author, publicist and film maker. She has just released her fifth children’s book titled “My Two Super Mums” and her first feature film “Four Girls and a Motorhome” is in development with Running Panda Films.